I was rummaging through my blog archives the other day, curious as to what my life looks like on the outside. You see someone who looks happy 100 percent of the time, always put together, smiling and loving life. The truth is, when I post a picture of me it is because I actually took the time to throw on some makeup and look "presentable". The other 99 percent of the time I'm hanging around the house in my work out clothes, makeup free, with a messy bun. No, not the cute kind of messy bun you see people effortlessly rocking, but the kind that makes me look in the mirror and laugh at myself. Actually chuckle, because who in their right mind goes out in public without brushing their hair? Well...me. I do. It's not because I think the "I didn't put any effort into this" look is actually a good look for me. It's because I'm tired. Tired of always trying to put on a happy face and pretend my life is perfect. In all honesty, I am happy...most of the time. But the other times I just can't shake the feeling of loneliness. I'm surrounded by people who love me, so why on earth do feel lonely sometimes.
It's no secret I have battled with my fair share of depression, but I haven't felt debilitatingly sad in a couple years. I'm nowhere near as sad or lonely as I have ever been, but I'm tired of trying to not be sad ever. People get sad. People cry for no reason, or lots of reasons. No ones life is perfect. Mine sure as hell isn't, and may never be. But it's ok. And I'm ok. I will always have the love and support of my family to help me feel better and my best. I will always have my close friends to pick me up when I'm feeling down and need a little support.
I guess this is just my way to tell you, whoever is reading this post, that it's ok to feel sad sometimes. Just know that it will pass! You were made to be you, and you do it better than anyone else can. Don't rely solely on what people think of you. I used to let others dictate my moods. I would let their opinions shape my feelings about myself, but not anymore.
Now, I'm living for me and it's the best decision I could have ever made.